You
have two choices in life:
You
can stay single and be miserable,
or
get married and wish you were dead.
__________
At
a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes,
I am. I married the wrong man."
__________
A
lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband
Wanted".
Next
day she received a hundred letters.
They
all said the same thing:
"You
can have mine."
_______
When
a woman steals your husband,
there
is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________
A
woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
_________
A
little boy asked his father,
"Daddy,
how much does it cost to get married?"
Father
replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
__________
A
young son asked,
"Is
it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad
replied, "That happens in every country, son."
_________
Then
there was a woman who said,
"I
never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and
by then, it was too late."
_________
Marriage
is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________
If
you want your spouse to listen and
pay
strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
__________
Just
think, if it weren't for marriage,
men
would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________
First guy
says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's
still alive."
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