LIP SERVICE

Jay Leno:
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

Jay Leno:
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

Conan O'Brien:
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new "Obama Value Meal"?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Jay Leno:
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

David Letterman:
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.

Jimmy Fallon:
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the
ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !

Jimmy Kimmel:
Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.

David Letterman:
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road