HOT AIR

A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is hopelessly lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, and let's see, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolls her eyes and in her best Tallulah Bankhead voice says, "You have got to be a Republican!"

"Well, ma'am, I am," replies the fisherman, "but how did you know?"

"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you've told me may be technically correct, but I have absolutely no idea what to do with your information. And, I'm still lost. Frankly, you're no help to me. at all."

The man smiles and responds, " And you madam, you must be a Democrat!"

"I am," replies the lost woman. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the fisherman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise to someone that you have no idea how to keep. Having accomplished all that, you now expect me to solve your problem." The fisherman chuckled. "You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, and yet, somehow, it's now my fault."