ONE LINERS

1. I couldn't care less, but I'm working on it.
2. Is there a national do not call list for friends and family yet?
3. I'd like to give you a nice going away present. But first, you have to do your part.
4. Making $ is easy. Press shift+4.
5. At the Pentagon, there are five sides to every story.
6. I don't make snowmen. If I wanted a cold man with slush for brains, I'd still be married.
7. I don't take drugs - I'm not even an athlete.
8. The Doctor to the Patient.. "I'm stumped. I guess we're just going to have to wait for the autopsy results."
9. I hate sharing a name with someone famous because I'm always telling people, no, I'm not THAT Batman.
10. I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before
11. It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
12. The odds are a million to one against my being one in a million.
13. Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
14. The screen says press any key to continue. But I can't find the 'any' key.
15. When rabbits get divorced, it's called splitting hares. 

Oh well, it's better than listening to Pelosi...