Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense"
The man walks up to the co-worker and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," the co-worker replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
GREAT NEW BUSINESS IDEA!
A friend of mine just started his own business.
He is making landmines that look like prayer rugs.
It's doing well.
He says Prophets are going through the roof.
Friday, August 20, 2010
DYING PRIEST
In Washington , D.C. an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see President Obama and Speaker Pelosi before I
die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The President and Congress and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; President Obama and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to Pelosi, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images and might even get me re-elected. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN." Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Obama's hand in his right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left hand. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally President Obama spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Obama.
"Amen", said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.
"I would really like to see President Obama and Speaker Pelosi before I
die", whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to The President and Congress and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; President Obama and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to Pelosi, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images and might even get me re-elected. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN." Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Obama's hand in his right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left hand. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally President Obama spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen", said Obama.
"Amen", said Pelosi.
The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same."
Sunday, August 15, 2010
FIRST BATCH
Yesterday, I mixed the batter for the first ice cream I have made in about eight years. I made a very wicked rum – French vanilla ice cream in those days that everyone used to just die for. My recipe, developed over several batches of trial and error, was left behind when I divorced.
So, now I have this new kitchen aid mixer and a special bowl for making and freezing ice cream. I thumbed through a lot of recipes for French vanilla ice cream, paid a handsome price for a recipe book that’s as worthless as a politician, and eventually settled on one of four or five recipes that came with the machine. I modified that recipe, going strictly from memory and not able to recall exact measurements, and I substituted brandy for the rum. I mixed the batter and set it in the fridge to chill overnight.
This morning, I poured the batter into the freeze bowl and mixed up my first batch. Finally, after moving it into a container for the final freeze, I dared to sample it. Just as the ice cream touched my lips, a thousand singing birds came out of the sky. The kitchen lit up like a Christmas tree, and angels came forth. The ice cream entered my mouth and I must say… I have outdone myself. It was soooo good. And all of the angels and all of the birds shared in this delight, singing and chirping and flapping their wings. What a truly wondrous occasion.
Now, all of the frickin' ice cream is gone and all I got was a teaspoon full.
So, now I have this new kitchen aid mixer and a special bowl for making and freezing ice cream. I thumbed through a lot of recipes for French vanilla ice cream, paid a handsome price for a recipe book that’s as worthless as a politician, and eventually settled on one of four or five recipes that came with the machine. I modified that recipe, going strictly from memory and not able to recall exact measurements, and I substituted brandy for the rum. I mixed the batter and set it in the fridge to chill overnight.
This morning, I poured the batter into the freeze bowl and mixed up my first batch. Finally, after moving it into a container for the final freeze, I dared to sample it. Just as the ice cream touched my lips, a thousand singing birds came out of the sky. The kitchen lit up like a Christmas tree, and angels came forth. The ice cream entered my mouth and I must say… I have outdone myself. It was soooo good. And all of the angels and all of the birds shared in this delight, singing and chirping and flapping their wings. What a truly wondrous occasion.
Now, all of the frickin' ice cream is gone and all I got was a teaspoon full.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
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