ROMNEY CHEATS

The Presidential election 2012 was too close to call.  Neither Mitt Romney nor Obama had enough votes to win.  There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things.  The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election. 

After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Vermont.  There were to be no observers present and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 PM with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.

At the end of the first day, Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 fish.  Soon, Obama returned and had no fish.  Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day or something and hopefully he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day Mitt came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

That evening, the Democrats got together secretly and said, "I think that Mitt Romney is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun."  They told Obama, "Tomorrow don't bother fishing.  Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating."  The next night, after Mitt returns with 50 fish, the Democrats got together for the report from Obama on how the Republicans were cheating.

Obama said, "You are not going to believe this, he's cutting holes in the ice!"

FISHING WITH BARRY

The Presidential election 2012 was too close to call.  Neither Mitt Romney nor Obama had enough votes to win.  There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things.  The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Vermont.  There were to be no observers present and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 PM with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.

At the end of the first day, Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 fish.  Soon, Obama returned and had no fish.  Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day or something and hopefully he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day Mitt came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.

That evening, the Democrats got together secretly and said, "I think that Mitt Romney is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun."  They told Obama, "Tomorrow don't bother fishing.  Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating."  The next night, after Mitt returns with 50 fish, the Democrats got together for the report from Obama on how the Republicans were cheating.

Obama said, "You are not going to believe this, he's cutting holes in the ice!"

THREAT

GET A GRIP

A woman from   New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona  when her car broke down.  An American Indian on 
horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. 

 

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant.

"Nothing," the woman answered  "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

NEW SIGN ESPECIALLY FOR OBAMA IN WAL-MART

BAD LANGUAGE IN COURT ROOM

The judge  says to a double-homicide defendant: "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer." 

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out: "You bastard!"

The judge says:"You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to  death with a  hammer."  

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out: "You rotten bastard!"

The judge stops and says to the guy in the  back of the courtroom, a Newfie : "Sir, I can understand your anger and  frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?" 

The Newfie in the back of the court stands up and says: "I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to
that asshole, and every time I asked  to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't  have one!!! 

BEST DRESSED OF THE YEAR WAL-MART SHOPPER

LOOKS LIKE A GOOD PLACE TO EAT

SO LONG ARIZONA…MOVING TO CANADA

Illegal immigrants are boycotting Arizona by the thousands, showing their outrage with Arizona’s controversial new SB-1070 law, by moving elsewhere.

In the small town of Guadalupe, AZ, south of Phoenix, Manuel Renaldo is one of those who is “punishing” Arizona by leaving. As he loaded his stolen car with his stolen belongings and his family of ten, Renaldo told this reporter through an interpreter: “It’s a matter of principle; I refuse to be supported by a state that treats me like a criminal!!”

The effects of the exodus are being felt by Arizona retailers, who are reporting dwindling sales of beer, spray paint and ammunition. Also hit hard, are the state hospitals, which have reported a dramatic decline in births and emergency room visits. Tattoo parlors are in a state of panic!

Renaldo told a reporter through an interpreter, that he and his family are
moving to Canada, a democratic country with high taxes, where hard working people will support him and his family with dignity!

Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

SO, JOE BIDEN HAS THE SWINE FLU?

EVEN THE YOUNG FOLKS DON'T LIKE OBAMA

WHAT CONFUCIOUS DID NOT SAY

CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

 

Finally, Confucius may have said this:

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"

QUIT TRASHING OBAMA'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS

An impressive list of accomplishments:

First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.

First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.

First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States

First President to violate the War Powers Act. .

First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico.

First President to defy a Federal Judge's court order to cease implementing the Health Care Reform Law.

First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.

First President to spend a trillion dollars on 'shovel-ready' jobs when there was no such thing as 'shovel-ready' jobs.

First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.

First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.

First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S., including those with criminal convictions.

First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.

First President to terminate America's ability to put a man in space.

First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.

First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.

First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke-out on the reasons for their rate increases.

First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory.

First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).


First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.

First President to fire an inspector general of Ameri-Corps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.

First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office. .

First President to golf 73 separate times in his first two and a half years in office, 90 to date.

First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.

First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.

First President to go on multiple global 'apology tours'.

First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends paid for by the taxpayer.

First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.

First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year
at taxpayer expense.

First President to repeat the Holy Quran tells us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.

First President to take a 17 day vacation.

How is this hope and change working out for you?

THERE'S AN ELECTION COMING UP...
I HOPE YOU REMEMBER THIS LIST WHEN YOU VOTE!

MY STRUGGLES

• I was born in one country, raised in another.
• My father was born in another country.
• I was not his only child.
• He fathered several children with numerous women.
• I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me.
• My mother died at an early age from cancer.
• Although my father deserted me and my mother raised me, I later wrote a book idolizing my father not my mother.
• Later in life, questions arose over my real name.
• My birth records were sketchy.
• No one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.
• I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my new country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs and didn't follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.

• I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them.
• That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and embarked on a new career.
• I wrote a book about my struggles growing up.
• It was clear to those who read my memoirs, that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.
• I became active in local politics in my 30's then, with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s.
• They said I had a golden tongue and could talk anyone into anything.
• I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organization.
• Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me, as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks.
• I drew incredibly large crowds during my public appearances.
• This bolstered my ego.
• At first, my political campaign focused on my country's foreign policy.
• I was very critical of my country in the last war, and seized every opportunity to bash my country.
• But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country's economy.
• I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better, and every poor person would be fed and housed for free.
• I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess.
• It was the free market, banks and corporations.
• I decided to start making citizens hate them and, if they became envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight.
• I called mine "A People's Campaign".
• That sounded good to all people.
• I was the surprise candidate because I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics and was able to gain widespread popular support.
• I knew that, if I merely offered the people 'hope', together we could change our country and the world.
• So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include "persecuted minorities".
• My true views were not widely known and I kept them unknown, until after I became my nation's leader.
• I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and  examined those people I associated with. I'm glad they didn't. 
• Then I became the most powerful man in the world.
• And then the world learned the truth.

Who am I?    Answer:  ADOLPH HITLER

If you were thinking of SOMEONE ELSE, you should be scared, very scared!

THAT WONDERFUL FEELING OF RELIEF

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.  Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and
until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

HOW PROFILING GOT STARTED

The day it all started was March 6, 1836.  On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo .  He then walked up to the observation post along the west wall of the fort.

William B.  Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out over the top of the wall.  These three great men gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving toward them.  With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said: "Jim, are we having some landscaping done today?"

WHO SAYS BUSINESS ISN'T GOOD?

A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan.

He's making land mines that look like prayer mats.

It's doing well.

He says prophets are going through the roof.

SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR OLD FARTS

http://www.giftcardgranny.com/blog/senior-discounts/

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART

My Dear Friends & Family:

There are less than 5 months until election day when the people will decide
who will be the next President of the United States . The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It's time that we all need to come together, Democrats and Republicans alike, in a bi-partisan effort for America.

If you will support Mitt Romney, please drive with your headlights ON during
the day.

 

If you support Barack Obama, please drive with your headlights OFF at night.

Together, we can make it happen.

Thank you!

2012 SLOGAN

SUPER BOWEL RING

IS IT REALLY YOUR DUTY TO DIE?

"You old white people. It is your duty to die." HISPANIC LEADERS SPEAK OUT
Augustin Cebada, Brown Berets; "Go back to Boston ! Go back to Plymouth Rock, Pilgrims! Get out! We are the future. You are old and tired. Go on. We have beaten you. Leave like beaten rats. You old white people. It is your duty to die. Through our love of having children, we are going to take over. 

Richard Alatorre, Los Angeles City Council. "They're afraid we're going to take over the governmental institutions and other institutions. They're right. Wewill take them over . . . We are here to stay." 

Excelsior, the national newspaper of Mexico , "The American Southwest seems to be slowly returning to the jurisdiction of Mexico without firing a single shot." 

Professor Jose Angel Gutierrez, University of Texas ; "We have an aging white America . They are not making babies. They are dying. We are having babies. The explosion is in our population . . . I love it. They are shitting in their pants with fear. I love it." 

Art Torres, Chairman of the California DemocraticParty, "Remember 187--proposition to deny taxpayer funds for services to non-citizens--was the last gasp of white America in California ." 

Gloria Molina, Los Angeles County Supervisor, "We are politicizing every single one of these new citizens that are becoming citizens of this country ..... I gotta tell you that a lot of people are saying, "I'm going to go out there and vote because I want to pay them back." 

Mario Obledo, California Coalition of Hispanic Organizations and California State Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare under Governor Jerry Brown, also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Bill Clinton, " California is going to be a Hispanic state. Anyone who doesn't like it should leave." 

Jose Pescador Osuna, Mexican Consul General, "We are practicing 'La Reconquista' in California ..." 

Professor Fernando Guerra, Loyola Marymount University; "We need to avoid a white backlash by using codes understood by Latinos . . . " 

WHEN I WAS YOUNG: 
When I was young, I remember hearing about the immigrants that came through Ellis Island .. They wanted to learn English. They wanted to breathe free. They wanted to become Americans. Now too many immigrants come here with demands. They demand to be taught in their own language. They demand special privileges--affirmative action. They demand ethnic studies that glorify their culture. 
 

HOW CAN YOU HELP?: 
Send copies of this letter to at least two other people, 100 would be even better. Help us get the word out.
Remember when you vote this year that we need someone in the White House who will balance the budget and control illegal immigration. If we make all illegals, legal, then we have lost our country forever. Liberalism will have won and you will have a one party system forever. Redistribution of wealth will be the law. It is called socialism. Our country is heading in the wrong direction and we are doing it to ourselves without serious protest.

 

ALL AMERICANS SHOULD BE DISTURBED, VERY DISTURBED BY THIS. WHAT A SHAME, IF NOT ENOUGH AMERICANS HAVE THE BACK BONE TO STAND UP AND SAY, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH."  IT IS TIME WE TOOK OUR COUNTRY BACK AND PURGED OUR NATION FROM THESE RADICAL AGITATORS!

IT'S BLACK AND WHITE

BUCHANAN    TO       OBAMA
                 By        Patrick  J.  Buchanan

Barack  says we need to have a  conversation about  race in America. Fair  enough. But this   time, it has to  be a two-way conversation. White America needs to be  heard   from, not just lectured  to.... This time, the Silent Majority needs to  have  its convictions, grievances  and demands heard.  And among them  are these:

First,  America has been the best country on earth  for  black folks. It was here  that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa  in slave ships, grew into a  community of 40 million, were introduced  to Christian salvation, and  reached the greatest levels of freedom  and  prosperity blacks have ever  known.. Jeremiah  Wright ought to go  down on his knees and thank God  he is an American.

Second, no  people anywhere has done more to  lift up blacks than white  Americans.   Untold   trillions have been spent since the ' 60s on   welfare,  food stamps, rent  supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants,  student  loans, legal services,  Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and  poverty programs designed to  bring  the African-American community into  the  mainstream. Governments,  businesses and colleges have engaged  in discrimination against white  folks -- with affirmative action,  contract set-asides and quotas  -- to advance black applicants over white  applicants. Churches,  foundations, civic groups, schools and individuals all  over America  have donated  their time and money to support soup  kitchens,  adult education, day care, retirement and nursing homes for  blacks. 
     
We hear the  grievances. Where is the  gratitude??

Barack talks about new 'ladders of opportunity' for blacks. Let  him go to Altoona?  And Johnstown, and ask the white kids in  Catholic schools how many were  visited lately by Ivy League recruiters handing  out scholarships for 'deserving'  white kids...?Is white America  really responsible for the fact  that the crime and incarceration rates  for African-Americans are seven  times those of white America?   Is  it really white   America's fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the black dropout  rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent?

Is that  the fault of white America or,  first and foremost, a failure of the  black community  itself?

As  for racism, its ugliest  manifestation is in interracial crime, and especially interracial crimes of  violence.   Is Barack Obama aware  that  while white criminals choose black  victims 3  percent of the  time, black criminals choose white victims 45  percent  of the time?

Is  Barack aware that black-on-white  rapes are 100  times more  common than the reverse, that  black-on-white robberies were  139 times as common in the first  three years of this decade as the  reverse?

We  have all heard ad  nauseum from the Rev. Al about  Tawana Brawley, the Duke rape case and Jena. And all turned out to be  hoaxes. But about the epidemic of black assaults  on whites that are  real,  we hear   nothing.

Sorry, Barack, some of us have heard it all before,  about  40 years and 40 trillion tax  dollars ago.  This needs to be passed  around  because, this is a  message everyone needs to hear!!!      
  
OK......... will you  pass it on?   

YES. I did but will you?

Because  I'm for  a  better America  
I am
Not  racist,
Not   violent,

Just  not  silent anymore.    

THINK AND GROW RICH

PARTY ANIMALS

PELOSI'S MEDICAL EXAM

While examining Nancy Pelosi, the doctor tells her: "Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine. Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

Nancy started taking off her clothes.....

 

Doctor, stopping her: "No! No! Please put on your clothes. Just show me your tongue."

SPEAKING OF POLITICIANS...

PELOSI'S PARENTS?

THE ORIGINAL SIN

LESSION FROM MEMORIAL DAY 2012

It is the VETERAN, not the preacher, who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer, who has given us freedom to assemble.

It is the VETERAN, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the VETERAN, not the politician, Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the VETERAN who salutes the Flag,

It is the VETERAN who serves under the flag.  

Let us not disgrace the honor the service of our VETERANS by allowing our country to go down the tubes.  Let's be responsible Americans and let us be true to our country.