English majors and wordsmiths will appreciate this old and fading art of writing:
In this world of hi-tech, I have noticed that many who text messages and email, have forgotten the art of capitalization. Those of you who fall into this world, please take note of the following statement below.
'Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.'
I cannot stress enough that proper use of grammar can be most important!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
THE WEDDING BUSINESS
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation......
And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."
They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation......
And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
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