A PARABLE

The saga of the little red hen....

*Who will help me plant my wheat?" asked the little red hen*

"Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck..

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," She planted her crop, and the wheat grew and ripened.

"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Out of my classification," said the pig.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.

"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.

"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.

"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.  They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said Barack the farmer. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle."

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who
smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one
cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

EPILOGUE

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.

Hillary got $8 million for hers.

That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?

HE MUST HAVE BEEN A DEMOCRAT

An Irish drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. 

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

FLUID SITUATION

When I got home last night, my wife insisted that I take her out to some place expensive...............

So I took her to a gas station

HORSING AROUND

A cowboy and his wife had just got married and found a nice hotel for their wedding night.  The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.   He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room with a good strong bed. 

The clerk winked, 'You want the 'Bridal'?' 

The cowboy reflected on this for a moment and then replied, 'Nope, I reckon not.  I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it.'

TRUE ERECTYLE DISFUNCTION

One of the questions from a career placement test: 

"Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of human body that is more useful when erect!"

Those who spell spine become doctors... the rest become politicians. 

---

CELIBACY

What is Celibacy? Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He then addressed the men. “Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?” Frank leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, Isn't it?” And thus began Frank's life of celibacy.

WHERE OBAMA CAME FROM?

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.   Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do,and he didn't seem too concerned about it.  

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.  He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. Bible

2. Silver Dollar

3. Bottle of Whisky

4. Playboy magazine

“I'll just hide behind the door”, the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."

"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that ! would be okay, too. "But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.  He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket.  He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centrefold.

" Lord have mercy”, the old preacher disgustedly whispered,

" He's going into politics!!"