WHY WE MUST WITHDRAW FROM IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN IMMEDIATELY

Poster-child for what is wrong in Washington , DC

You will simply not believe this. Our 8th District US Congressional representative, the Hon. Gabrielle Giffords, in a meeting of the House Armed Services Committee, asked General David Petraeus the following question: "General Petraeus, what are you doing to reduce carbon emissions in the war on terror?"

Wow. I had to read, and re-read this several times to believe it. Folks, there are American sons and daughters dying every week on the foreign battlefields of southwest Asia . The nation is completely bankrupt and .... quite literally, borrowing 43 cents for every dollar in federal spending. We have the largest environmental disaster in the nation's history in the Gulf of Mexico , and we have Mexican drug armies invading our nation. And yet ...A member of Congress from Arizona 's 8th congressional district took the time to ask our battlefield commander what he is doing to curb carbon emissions in the war.

Gabrielle Giffords is the poster-child for what is wrong with the US Congress. We are being led by imbeciles. To the rest of America reading this blog, and to Gen. Petraeus if this e-mail makes it to your inbox ... my sincerest apologies for the stupid question asked of you by my US congressional representative. General ... I am sure you have better things to worry about than carbon emissions on the battlefield. I assure you, as a registered voter in Arizona 's 8th congressional district, I will do everything I can to ensure Rep. Giffords is voted out of office in November, and I pray you'll get back to business of fighting the war on terror without worrying about such petty and nonsensical matters as your carbon footprint in the war.

Mark Beres, Maj. USAF (ret.)
Tucson, Arizona

FYI: The 8th District surrounds Tucson to the north, south and east ( Tucson is in the 7th District) and covers the south-east corner of AZ.

What Google says about Rep. Giffords:
Representative Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) took Afghan Commander, General David Petraeus, to task for what she characterized as â willful disregard of the environmental impact of our war effort. There is no policy, no plan to minimize carbon emissions in our military activities, Giffords charged. Bombs are dropped and bullets are fired without considering the environmental impact. Giffords insisted that she was not demanding an immediate halt to current military operations in the Middle East, just saying that battle plans should include an environmental impact assessment as a regular part of the process before attacks are launched.

She also suggested that the Army put more emphasis on less environmentally damaging methods, like stabbing or clubbing enemy forces in order to minimize the carbon output.

New Rules of Engagement:

I think we ought to put her on the front lines so she can stab or club the enemy. God help us if this is the type of idiots that are elected to office. Walk softly and carry a big knife or big stick to save the environment.

LESSON FROM THE OLD FARTS

Learn from your elders


A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy. So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500," he says.  

This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer

Now it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.  He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.  He wakes the senior and hands him $500.

The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

WORLD SERIES

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish.

"I want to live forever " I said.

"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"

"Fine" I said, "I want to die when the Mariners win the World Series!"

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

WAS OBAMA NATURALLY BORN?

And we worry about Democrats versus Republicans?

There's a bigger problem....

In a Florida State University classroom, students and professor were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

One girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair the requirement was that a candidate had to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming President.

The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating:

"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"

IT'S ALL A MATTER OF CONCEPTUALIZATION

I just applied for a building permit for a new house.  It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide with 9 turrets at various heights and
windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system.


It would have parking for 200 old cars and I was going to paint it snot green with tatty pink trim.


The City Council told me to fuck off.


So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque.


Work starts on Monday...

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, HONORABLE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES

CHAIRMAN BARACK, BENEVOLENT MASTER