NEVADA'S GOVERNOR GIBBONS LAMBASTS REID

Press Release - December 21, 2009 - Harry Reid Gives Nevada a Christmas Present We'll Never Forget


For Immediate Release: December 21, 2009 Print Version (pdf)
HARRY REID GIVES NEVADA A CHRISTMAS PRESENT
WE’LL NEVER FORGET
Reid health care plan helps Nebraska, will bankrupt Nevada

Carson City - Just in time for Christmas, Senator Harry Reid once again plans to put his national political ambitions ahead of Nevada, this time on Christmas Eve. Under the guise of “Health Care Reform,” Senator Reid’s proposal will neither promote good health in Nevada nor reform our current health care system. “Senator Reid is wishing Nevadans a Merry Christmas with a smile on his face and a knife in our backs,” Governor Jim Gibbons said, “Reid’s Health Care Reform plan will cost Nevada taxpayers more than $613,000,000 in State taxes.” Governor Gibbons continued, “Nevadans will also pay more than $1.5 billion through increased federal income taxes. This irresponsible legislation will bankrupt the State of Nevada and leave every working Nevada family out in the cold in the New Year.”
Governor Gibbons also noted that Reid, along with his staff and supporters, are “cooking the books” to ram the health care plan down the throats of Nevadans – without bipartisan support – so that Reid may endear himself to President Obama. “Senator Reid needs to look at the damage his health care plan will do to Nevada and stop pandering to special interests and his political friends. Reid and his Democrat supporters are playing games with implementation dates and hiding harmful cuts to vulnerable senior citizens, all the while pretending the average taxpayer will not end up holding the bag.”
As many as 8 in 10 Americans are satisfied with their current health coverage, yet Senator Reid blindly sees this as a mandate for change. His health care proposal will subject Americans to unwanted changes to their health coverage and increase their taxes. Senator Reid is also ignoring the 56% of Nevadans who oppose his national Democratic health care agenda – a number which grows every day. “Senator Reid and his colleagues in Congress should have studied and fixed what’s broken in our Nation’s health care system, rather than forcing devastating cuts that will eliminate choice in our seniors’ Medicare coverage and disrupt the lives of Nevadans who are satisfied with their health care,” Gibbons said, “Reid’s plan is shameful and does nothing to increase access for Nevadans to health care. No politician should come between a patient and his or her doctor.”
As a final insult to Nevadans, Senator Reid this weekend released his final compromise bill language which provides a sizable Christmas gift to the people of Nebraska at the expense of the people of Nevada. “In order to pander to his fellow Democrats, Senator Reid has granted full funding for Nebraska’s Medicaid expansion in perpetuity while leaving his constituents in Nevada to fend for themselves,” Governor Gibbons said. “Harry Reid is mortgaging the future of Nevadans, our children, and even our grandchildren to pay for this unwanted national health care program. Maybe he should move to Nebraska where he can do less harm to Nevada.”
# # #
Daniel Burns Communications Director - (775) 684-5667 cell (702) 290-8980
Office of the Governor . 101 North Carson Street . Carson City, NV 89701 . Fax: (775) 684-7198
Grant Sawyer State Office Bldg . 555 East Washington, Suite 5100 . Las Vegas, NV 89101 . Fax: (702) 486-2505

AIR FORCE ONE STORY

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America . Panic stricken,
the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.

Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all had happened.

They hurried over to surround the man's tractor.
"Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of
breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

- "Yep. Sure did." the man muttered unconcernedly.

- "Do you realize that is the President of the United States ' airplane?"

- "Yep."

- "Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped.

- "Nope. They's all kilt straight out." the farmer sighed cutting
off his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the
morning."

- "The President of the United States is DEAD?" The agent gulped in
disbelief.

- "Well," the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his
work. "He kept a-saying he wasn't .... but you know what a liar he is."

COMFORTING THOUGHTS

Birds of a feather flock together and poop on your car.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and choke himself.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL.'

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.

Today, it's called golf.

PROFILES FOR ECONOMIC COLLAPSE IN AMERICA

http://www.buttecountylibertarians.org/index.php?PHPSESSID=7d0d6a90b8241cb841e9a76c38a8d88b&topic=19.0">

JEWISH WOMAN WALKS HER DOG

HUNDREDS GATHER TO PROTEST GLOBAL WARMING

THE LAST CHRISTMAS CARD

WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN CANCELED DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING

The Build A Bear Company

FOR FURTHER INFO, CLICK HERE

THANKS, MR. PRESIDENT

CHRISTMAS FOR OLD FARTS

At a certain age, everyone will understand this poor guy...

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud..

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,"Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good. When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look..

SOMETHING TO PONDER

I THINK IT IS REMARKABLE THAT THE PRESS CAN FIND EVERY WOMAN WITH WHOM TIGER HAS HAD AN AFFAIR IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, WITH PHOTOS, TEXT MESSAGES, RECORDED PHONE CALLS, ETC. THEY KNOW NOT ONLY THE CAUSE OF THE FAMILY FIGHT, BUT THEY EVEN KNOW IT WAS A WEDGE FROM HIS GOLF BAG THAT SHE USED TO BREAK OUT THE WINDOWS IN THE ESCALADE. NOT ONLY THAT, THEY KNOW WHICH WEDGE!!!

THIS IS THE SAME PRESS (OR IS IT?) THAT CANNOT LOCATE OBAMA'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE, HIS RECORDS AS A LEGISLATOR IN ILLINOIS ... OR ANY OF HIS PAPERS WHILE IN COLLEGE.

TRULY REMARKABLE.

SELF DEFENSE: Use If A Senator Is In The Vicinity?

*Wasp Spray*

A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was
concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them
when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police
department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she
get a can of wasp spray instead.

The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is

a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get
too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily
blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote.

She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention
from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby
at home for home protection. Thought this was interesting and might be

of use.

On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in
Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life.

Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview
High School . For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and
hornet spray near your door or bed.
Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."

Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than

mace or pepper spray.

The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break

into your home, Glinka says "spray the culprit in the eyes".

It's a tip he's given to students for decades.

It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for

protection, Glinka says look to the spray. "That's going to give you

a chance to call the police; maybe get out." Maybe even save a life.

IT'S GOOD TO BE SAFE

FUNERAL

THE JEWISH LOTTO WINNERS

The Shapiros, a Jewish couple living in England, won twenty million pounds in the National Lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

Then they decided to hire a butler.

They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and brought him back to their home. The day after his arrival, they instructed him to set up the dining room table for four, as they were inviting the Cohens to lunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping.

When they returned, they found the table set for eight. They asked the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set the table for four.

The butler replied, "The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes and the Knishes"

NANCY PELOSI'S BROOM

REMEMBER THIS IN THE 2010 MID TERM ELECTIONS!
All Hail Queen Nancy! Nancy's USAF Boeing 757

And they STILL want to talk about Sarah Palin's clothing and the jet she's currently using at HER OWN expense??
People,..... Are you out there?

MADAME PELOSI wasn't happy with the small private jet that comes with the Speaker's job...no, Madame Pelosi was aggravated that this little jet had to stop to refuel, so she ordered a Big Fat 200 seat jet that could get her back to California without stopping!

Many, many legislators walked by and grinned with glee as Joe Biden informed everyone what Nancy's Big Fat Jet costs us, the hard working American Taxpayers, for the thousands of gallons of fuel every week. Since she only works 3 days a week, this gas guzzling jet gets fueled and she flies home to California , cost to the taxpayers of about $60,000 one way!

As Joe puts it, 'Unfortunately we have to pay to bring her back on Monday Night.' Cost to us is another $60,000.. Folks, that is $480,000 per month and that is an annual cost to the taxpayers of $5,760,000. No wonder she complains about the cost of this war...it might cramp her style and she is styling, on my back and yours.

I think of the military families in this country doing without and this woman, who heads up the most do-nothing Congress in the history of this country, keeps fueling that jet while doing nothing.
Madame Pelosi wants you and me to conserve our carbon footprint.. She wants us to buy smaller cars and Obama wants us to get a bicycle pump and air up our tires.
These people are nuts.

If you think this is outrageous, forward it to all those on your email list!
Keep in mind the figures above do NOT include cost of plane or crew, just fuel!
One wonders what her total package cost us? And she wants to tax OUR IRA's & 401K's.....

YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS IN ANY NEWSPAPERS IN THE COUNTRY! THEY HAVE NO GUTS - THEY WOULD RATHER SEE PEOPLE STARVING THAN REPORT ON THE MONSTER THAT IS NANCY PELOSI!

OIL CHANGE SPECIAL

A CHRISTMAS TO REMEMBER

In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket.
Their father was gone.

The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two.

Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.

Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.

He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.

Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.

If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it.


I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded
them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.

The seven of us went to every factory, store <>and restaurant in our small town.

No luck....

The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince who ever would listen that I was willing to learn
or do anything. I had to have a job.

Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in t hat had been converted to a truck stop.

It was called the Big Wheel.

An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids.

She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning.

She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.

I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people.

I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night.

She could arrive with her pajamas on and th e kids would already be
asleep

This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.

When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I
averaged every night.

As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.

The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.

One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires!
There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires..

Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered.

I made a deal with the local service station.

In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office.

I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.

I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough.

Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.

I found a can of red paint and started repairing
and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning.

Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les, Frank , and Jim , and a state trooper named Joe .

A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and w ere dropping nickels in the pinball machine.

The regulars all just sat around and talked t hrough the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes.

I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat.

Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box.

Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10!

I looked inside another box: It w as full of shirts to go with the jeans.

Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and
canned vegetables and potatoes.
There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items.

And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the
most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude.

And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.

Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop.....

CHRISTMAS EATING TIPS

CHRISTMAS EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Have a great and Merry Christmas!!

DOES BARNEY FRANKFARTER HAVE A NEW BUSINESS?

KIDS AT CHRISTMAS

The Teacher asked young Patrick Murphy: "What do you do at Christmas time?

Patrick addressed the class: "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters
go to midnight mass and we sing hymns; then we come home very late and we put
mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited, we go to bed
and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.

"Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?"

Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols
and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up
our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents.

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion,
she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"

Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year.... Dad comes home from the office.
We all pile into the Rolls Royce; then we drive to Dad's toy factory. When we get inside,
we look at all the empty shelves... And begin to sing: “What A. Friend We Have In Jesus.”
Then we all go to the Bahamas .."

WEDDING PROPOSAL

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor, and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.”

He slipped the priest the cash and walked away.

The wedding day arrived. When it came time for the groom’s vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said,” Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around and then said in a tiny voice, “I do.”

After the ceremony, the groom pulled the priest aside and hissed, “I thought we had a deal.”

The priest slipped the $100 back into the man’s hand and whispered, “The bride’s father made me a much better offer.”

SCOTCHOBAMA

WHAT SCOTLAND THINKS OF US

OBAMA'S VITAL STATISTICS

The stat that jumps out as unbelievable is this: Looking back to 1900, he referenced a study from JP Morgan's Chief Investment Officer noting the percentage of Presidential Cabinet Post Appointees with prior private sector experience.

Teddy Roosevelt 37%
Taft 39%
Wilson 51%
Harding 48%
Coolidge 47%
Hoover 40%
FDR 50%
Truman 50%
Ike 56%
JFK 29%
LBJ 47%
Nixon 52%
Ford 44%
Carter 31%
Reagan 55%
G. Bush 51%
Clinton 38%
G. Bush II 52%
Obama 8% (yes, 8% not a typo)

It would be interesting to see how many former jailbirds were employed in each of the above administrations.

MODERN MEDICINE

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.

She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then, the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded. "This woman is 63 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said: "Does she still have the hiccups?

LIFE

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God.. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

14. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

15. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

16. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

17. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

18. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

19. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

20. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

21. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

22. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive everyone everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything.. Give time, time.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

31. Believe in miracles.

32. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

33. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

34. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

35. Your children get only one childhood.

36. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

37. It's estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'. I'm in the 7%. Remember that I will always share my spoon with you! Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.

38.Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

41. The best is yet to come.

42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

43. Yield.

44. Live life.







=

NATIVE AMERICANS HONOR PRESIDENT OBAMA

President BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation in upstate New York . He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.

Although Obama was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his "red sisters and brothers."

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, "Walking Eagle." The proud President then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President. They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

WHITE HOUSE PROTOCOL

CHRISTMAS CANCELLED

TODAY'S POLITICAL HISTORY LESSON

For those who don't know about history... here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. Those became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

And there you have it.

Let your next action reveal your true self .

HOUSE DECORATING CONTEST

TAKE A GANDER AT THE HOUSE ON THE RIGHT

REAL TERRORIST THREAT ON RECENT FLIGHT

I received the following email from a friend in Carson City, NV:

One week ago, I went to Ohio on business and to see my father. On Tuesday, November the 17^th, I returned home. If you read the papers the 18^th you may have seen a blurb where a AirTran flight was cancelled from Atlanta to Houston due to a man who refused to get off of his cell phone before takeoff. It was on Fox.

This was NOT what happen.

I was in 1^st class coming home. 11 Muslim men got on the plane in full attire. 2 sat in 1^st class and the rest peppered themselves throughout the plane all the way to the back. As the plane taxied to the runway the stewardesses gave the safety spiel we are all so familiar with. At that time, one of the men got on his cell and called one of his companions in the back and proceeded to talk on the phone in Arabic very loudly and very aggressively. This took the 1^st stewardess out of the picture for she repeatedly told the man that cell phones were not permitted at the time. He ignored her as if she was not there.

The 2^nd man who answered the phone did the same and this took out the 2^nd stewardess. In the back of the plane at this time, 2 younger Muslims, one in the back, isle, and one in front of him, window, began to show footage of a porno they had taped the night before, and were very loud about it. Now….they are only permitted to do this prior to Jihad. If a Muslim man goes into a strip club, he has to view the woman via mirror with his back to her. (don’t ask me….I don’t make the rules, but I’ve studied) The 3^rd stewardess informed them that they were not to have electronic devices on at this time. To which one of the men said “shut up infidel dog!” She went to take the camcorder and he began to scream in her face in Arabic. At that exact moment, all 11 of them got up and started to walk the cabin. This is where I had had enough! I got up and started to the back where I heard a voice behind me from another Texan twice my size say “I got your back.” I grabbed the man who had been on the phone by the arm and said “you WILL go sit down or you Will be thrown from this plane!” As I “led” him around me to take his seat, the fellow Texan grabbed him by the back of his neck and his waist and headed out with him. I then grabbed the 2^nd man and said, “You WILL do the same!” He protested but adrenaline was flowing now and he was going to go. As I escorted him forward the plane doors open and 3 TSA agents and 4 police officers entered. Me and my new Texan friend were told to cease and desist for they had this under control. I was happy to oblige actually. There was some commotion in the back, but within moments, all 11 were escorted off the plane. They then unloaded their luggage.

We talked about the occurrence and were in disbelief that it had happen, when suddenly, the door open again and on walked all 11!! Stone faced, eyes front and robotic (the only way I can describe it). The stewardess from the back had been in tears and when she saw this, she was having NONE of it! Being that I was up front, I heard and saw the whole ordeal. She told the TSA agent there was NO WAY she was staying on the plane with these men. The agent told her they had searched them and were going to go through their luggage with a fine tooth comb and that they were allowed to proceed to Houston. The captain and co-captain came out and told the agent “we and our crew will not fly this plane!” After a word or two, the entire crew, luggage in tow, left the plane. 5 minutes later, the cabin door opened again and a whole new crew walked on.

Again…..this is where I had had enough!!! I got up and asked “What the hell is going on!?!?” I was told to take my seat. They were sorry for the delay and I would be home shortly. I said “I’m getting off this plane”. The stewardess sternly told me that she could not allow me to get off. (now I’m mad!) I said “I am a grown man who bought this ticket, who’s time is mine with a family at home and I am going through that door, or I’m going through that door with you under my arm!! But I am going through that door!!” And I heard a voice behind me say “so am I”. Then everyone behind us started to get up and say the same. Within 2 minutes, I was walking off that plane where I was met with more agents who asked me to write a statement. I had 5 hours to kill at this point so why the hell not. Due to the amount of people who got off that flight, it was cancelled. I was supposed to be in Houston at 6pm. I got here at 12:30am.

Look up the date. (Air Tran) Flight 297 Atlanta to Houston.

If this wasn’t a dry run, I don’t know what one is. They wanted to see how TSA would handle it, how the crew would handle it, and how the passengers would handle it.

I’m telling this to you because I want you to know….

The threat is real. I saw it with my own eyes….

I did look it up, and this is one of two links:

http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/faa-to-investigate-cell-202143.html

It was forwarded to my friend in Carson City from the uncle of the writer of the letter.

CHRISTMAS EVE

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly Gates.

'In honor of this holy season Saint Peter said, You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Holiday Season Begins......