Sunday, April 28, 2013

Friday, April 26, 2013

AMEN TO THIS STATEMENT...



Thought I'd share a one sentence editorial that appeared in the Peoria AZ Journal Star....speaks volumes:

"A pen........
in the hand of this president is far more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million law-abiding citizens."

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

ETERNALLY YOURS



I met a fairy who said she would grant me one wish.

Immediately I said, "I want to live forever."

"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK," I said, "Then, I want to die after Congress gets its head out of its ass!" 

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

Monday, April 22, 2013

ESPECIALLY FOR SWINGERS



New  golf terms
  Some new golf terms to use when you're
out on the  course...
 

A  'Rock Hudson'
-  a putt that looked straight, but wasn't.

A  'Saddam Hussein'
-  from one bunker into another.

A  'Yasser Arafat'
-  butt ugly and in the sand.

A  'John Kennedy Jr.'
-  didn't quite make it over the water.

A  'Rodney King'
-  over-clubbed.

An  'O.J.'
-  got away with one.

A  'Princess Grace'
-  should have used a driver.

A  'Princess Di'
-  shouldn't have used the driver.

A  'Condom'
-  safe, but didn't feel very good.

A  'Brazilian'
-  shaved the hole.

A  'Rush Limbaugh'
-  a little to the right.

A  'Nancy Pelosi'
-  Way to the left and out of bounds.

A  'James Joyce'
-  a putt that's impossible to read.

A  'Ted Kennedy'
-  goes in the water and jumps out.

A  'Pee Wee Herman'
-  too much wrist.

A  'Sonny Bono'
-  straight into the trees.

A  'Paris Hilton'
-  a very expensive hole.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

THE SUPREMES AND THE K.K.K.



The difference between the Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan is that the members of the Supreme Court dress in black robes and scare white people.


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

SOMETHING TO CROW ABOUT



There is a new very important government study on just how intelligent crows are.  

The state of California found about 200 dead crows on its highways, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.  They had a Bird Pathologist examine the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.   

However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impact.
The State of California then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill.  

The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.  When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out Crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.  His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah," but he could not say "Truck."