Saturday, April 30, 2011

HOYA!

Obama visited the Navajo Tribal Ceremonial Pow Wow in Gallup, New Mexico last summer and gave a speech.  The crowd seemed to be extremely receptive, often interrupting by jumping to their feet and screaming, "Hoya!  Hoya!" 

Obama felt really jazzed and pepped up as he talked about getting the tribes more government assistance.  "Hoya!  Hoya!"  He talked about how the white man has screwed the American Indians every since day one.  "Hoya!  Hoya!" 

After the speech, Marlin Begay led Obama off to the backstage area toward the Presidential helicopter, Marine One.  As they were walking through the corrals where they keep the bulls for the rodeo, Marlin pointed to the ground and told the President, "Be careful not to step in the hoya." 

Friday, April 29, 2011

CRUISE CONTROL?


Take a minute to read this. It's unbelievable and very funny!
ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT.

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 with monthly payments of $560.00. He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin. It's mid-winter.............and of course all of the lakes are frozen.

These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR. They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on. 

Now..................making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce.  So........................out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse.

Our two Rocket Scientists.....................afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action:
they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...?
Let's talk about the dog:
A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner.  You guessed it........................The dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse.......................... just as it hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop.  The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming. 

One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, then continues on.  

Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane!!!!!!  The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear end............................he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.

Then KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOM! 

The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with 'I can't believe this just happened' looks on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments.

The dog is okay.....doing fine.

And to think you thought all Rednecks lived in the South.......

Thursday, April 28, 2011

WALKING ON WATER

A young man was nearing his 21st birthday and heard that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all gone out to the local lake and walked on water when they turned 21.  So, on his 21st birthday the guy and a friend rowed out onto the lake.  

The guy stood up and stepped out into the lake and nearly drowned.  Back at the homestead, he was distraught and asked his mother why he couldn't do like his ancestors and walk on water on his 21st birthday.  

"Because," she replied with sage wisdom, they were all born in January and you were born in July." 

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

FREE INVESTMENT ADVICE

I called my stockbroker and asked him what I should be buying..

He said, "If the current administration is in office much longer,canned goods and ammunition would be your best bet."

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

OBAMA AWARDED GOLD MEDAL


The International Olympic Committee stunned the world this morning
when they awarded U.S. President Barack Obama a gold medal in Men’s
Skiing.

When asked how this could be, considering that President Obama has
never skied nor competed in the Olympic games, an IOC spokesman
justified the decision by stating “Barack Obama is going downhill
faster than anyone we've ever seen.”

Monday, April 25, 2011

DEAR LORD

Dear Lord,
This past year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze.
My favorite actress, Farah Fawcett.
My favorite singer, Michael Jackson.
My favorite salesman, Billy Mays.
I just wanted to let you know that Obama is my favorite president.


Amen

Sunday, April 24, 2011

REDISTRIBUTION

Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read 'Vote Obama, I need the money.'

I laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a 'Obama 12' tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference--just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

STICKER SHOCK

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our insurance costs, taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.  To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.


This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go.  I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem.  They voted for change...... I gave it to them.


I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

New Word For The Day - "Dhimmitude"

What Does It   Mean? 
   
Obama used it in his new health care bill. 
 
 
Everyday there's another revelation of what Obama and his fellow Democrats are doing to our country. 

Dhimmitude --  I had never heard the word until now.  Type it into Google and start reading.
 
Pretty interesting.  It's on page 107 of the healthcare bill.  I looked this up on Google and yep, it exists.  It is a REAL word. 
 
Word of the Day: Dhimmitude 

Folks, this is exclusively an Islamic concept under Sharia Law.  So exclusive they had to make up an English word to define the concept.  Why would our government start interjecting Sharia Law concepts into new broad and sweeping legislation like health care that would control the U.S. population? .... Anyone?

Muslims are specifically exempted from the government mandate to purchase insurance and also from the penalty tax for being uninsured.  Islam considers insurance to be "gambling", "risk-taking" and "usury" and is thus banned.  Muslims are specifically granted exemption based on this. 

How convenient!!!!!  So, a Christian, will have crippling IRS liens placed  against all of their assets, including real estate, cattle and even accounts receivables and will face hard prison time because they refuse to buy insurance or pay the penalty tax.   Meanwhile, Louis Farrakhan and all other U.S. Muslims will have no such penalty and  will have 100% of their health needs paid for by the ‘de facto government insurance.’  

Non-Muslims paying a tax to subsidize Muslims.
 
This is Sharia Law definition of .... Dhimmitude.  This is NOT a Western Civilization concept. 

Dhimmit has two purposes: To enrich Muslims AND to drive other conversions to Islam.

You DO NOT have to share this with anyone else, but I Highly recommend you do.  This is desperately  important and people need to know about it -- quickly!

This really is happening in our country.  A fraction at a time.

Wake up America !  Obama & his Cronies have opened the back door, allowing all this to happen.

To check it out on Snopes, click here:  Health Insurance Exemptions. 
 

 
http://www.snopes.com/politics/medical/exemptions.asp
 


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

31 WORDS


Only 31 words --- Think about it 
Isn't life strange? 
I never met one Veteran who enlisted to
fight for Socialism

86% will send this on.

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG,

OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ,

AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT

STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD,

INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND

 
                                       JUSTICE FOR ALL!

If Muslims can pray on Madison Avenue, why are Christians banned from praying in public and erecting religious displays on their holy days? 

 


Tell me again, whose country is this? Ours or the Muslims?


I was asked to send this on if I agree, or delete if I don't. It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God.

Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having 'In God! We Trust' on our money and having 'God' in the Pledge of Allegiance.

I believe it's time we stand up for what we believe!